Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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