I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
