Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize