belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
