You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
