Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
