Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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