Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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