I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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