Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
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As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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