I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
