I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
