new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
