wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
