Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
