I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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