just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
