i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
