I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
