But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
