Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
