She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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