He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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