So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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