No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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