I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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