Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
