I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize