I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
