I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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