are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
