Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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