just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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