I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
