brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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