is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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