There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
