mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm both gender and math confused
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