the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Life is so much better after having sex.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
