Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
