Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
