I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
