I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Mom said you looked used
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize