Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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