You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
This is my gift to your gina
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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