When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
