Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
