Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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