why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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