i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
