when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
