I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
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I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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