I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
