you guys were way drunker than both of me
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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