Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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