I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
