just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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