so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
