i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
