rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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