Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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