yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Randomize