walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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