I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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