So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
