I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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