what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Please don't give away my fajitas
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
