yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I don't deserve a penis
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
