just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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